If I want to get a thing done– a blog post, a hair cut, getting out of bed by 10– I ought to just do it. I would like to be here putting my thoughts to paper (pixels) more than I do. I really would. I read this 10-page article the other day on cognitive disconnect- why people say one thing and do another. There are all sorts of psychological tendencies– i.e. judgment heuristics, optimistic illusions, a tendency to disregard the future– that make that non-hypocritical lifestyle hard.
Science is my favorite way of letting myself off easy. I’m also just a lazy 20-something whose peanut butter, hummus, and ice cream* you should never, ever eat because yes I double dip in that because I did not want to rope my tragic self in to washing a bowl. My milk* cartons are safe sometimes, but actually, please don’t ask me about them because I might be embarrassed to tell you whether they’re cesspools back-washy of bacteria or not. Please drink your own milk. Would you like some water or vodka? Ice? I might have ice.
I’m sitting in a coffee shop as I write this, procrastinating on another project or two. I’m not even in the right coffee shop, because I spent about 10 seconds looking up directions in the car, clicked “route,” then unwittingly got sent through dark, foggy, woodsy, u-turn-ridden and largely empty backroads to get here. I pictured a man with a chainsaw standing on every dark foggy bank. (My imagination might be the least-lazy part of me.) It turns out that this lovely 24 hour ‘Roasteria’ is a CHAIN. And the one that Google has the most hots for is in a different TOWN. Bollocks. Thankfully, the internet says there is a more urban route home, though I suppose I’m quite a lot more likely to get hit by a car in the disarmingly busy streets. Wish me luck, please and thank you.
*non-dairy frozen dessert